You are command central for your life. Your family, co-workers, and community depend on you, and you deliver. You used to function like Superwoman. You could handle all incoming. No problem. But something has changed. You’re more easily overwhelmed and frustrated, and you’re a little bit irritated that everything always seems to fall on you.

You feel off. You’re foggy headed and forgetful. Some days your energy is okay, but on others you can barely drag yourself out of bed. You feel hopeless, like your best days might be behind you. You think you might even be depressed.

You are reactive and angry. You’re surprised by the amount of conflict in your life, and at times even by your own behavior. Things you thought you’d resolved from your history are resurfacing with a frightening intensity. Decades of stuffing and repressing your feelings have created a volcano of emotion inside of you. You can feel it simmering. What are you so mad about? You’re shocked by your own anger.

Weird things are going on with you physically. You’re tired. All the time. You’ve gained weight. Around your middle. Seriously, what’s up with that? You can’t sleep. You sweat. Profusely. Sex? You’re not all that interested. You’re grappling with the physical symptoms of perimenopause or menopause, and it just straight up sucks.

You feel bad about the way you look. You are dismayed as you gaze at your reflection in the mirror. When did you get old and frumpy? You feel like your face is melting. There seems to be a new wrinkle or fresh gray hair every day. You fear your relevance as a woman is diminishing. You actually feel invisible in public at times. It’s like people don’t see you any longer. Is this how it’s going to be? Do you really matter less as your physical beauty changes? (No! But we’ll get to that later).

Your marriage, if you’re in one, is unsatisfying. You do not feel seen, understood, or supported. You don’t even feel like you’re playing on the same team any longer. Your husband wants you to buck-up, but you’re tired of soldiering on like a Stepford wife. If you’re not in a relationship, you’re terrified that you’ll be alone for the rest of you life. Who wants to be with an angry middle-aged woman? You don’t even want to be with yourself sometimes.

Your kids are headed off to college or nearing that time. As you look around your life, you realize that you’ve invested so much time and energy into them that you’ve lost yourself. You don’t know who you are anymore. You’re adrift.

You’re dissatisfied with your career. If you’ve been out of the workforce raising kids, you doubt your own viability. Would anyone even hire you? What marketable skills do you have? Could you really make money in your own business? You don’t give yourself a lot of credit for being a mom. If you’re in a career, you struggle with the juggling act between your personal and professional responsibilities. You always feel like you’re failing. and you’re first class at beating yourself up. Guilt is a constant companion. You long for an opportunity to do something that matters, but you doubt yourself.

You’re numbing. Your problems are overwhelming. At the end of most days, you’re fried. You need to relax. You pour yourself a glass of wine. Before you know it, the bottle is empty. Did you really just drink that whole thing all by yourself? Or maybe you pop a pill, eat until you’re sick, or spend money you don’t have. You know your behavior is self-destructive. You keep telling yourself you’re going to stop, but you don’t. You want to feel better, even if it only lasts for a little bit.

You’ve had a major shake-up in your life, and you’re in crisis. You’ve had a difficult health diagnosis or a loved ones has. You’re caring for an aging parent, and that has required a recalibration of your entire life. Your partner had an affair—or you did. You’re in the midst of or in the aftermath of a divorce. You quit or got fired. You’re in a financial mess. You’re in debt, you lost your home, or your business went belly up. You had a bad experience with drugs or alcohol. You got a DUI, or did something to really embarrass yourself. You are in shame.

You have regrets. Big ones. Yes, you’ve heard the phrase that everything happens for a reason, but you don’t buy it. You’d give a great deal to take some of your mistakes back. Your regret is eating you alive.

You are disappointed with your life. This is not how you thought things would turn out. You feel empty and disconnected – almost dead inside. The realization that your life is more than half over is shocking. You’re afraid life has passed you by, and your dreams don’t seem that possible any longer. Your soul is restless. You instinctively know that there is something more out there, but you don’t know how to find it.

You look online for the solution to a problem you’re not even quite sure how to define. You type mid-life into Google. The amount of information is overwhelming. Most of it is about losing weight. While you may welcome the exit of a few pounds, you realize this is about much more than weight.

The women around you don’t seem to be struggling the way you are. At least not if their social media posts are any indication. They look like they have it all together. You think there must be something wrong with you. Maybe you’re crazy. You feel all alone.