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Jumpstart Your Confidence

By | Get Your Groove Back | 2 Comments

What would you do if you felt more confident? Would you start that business you’ve been dreaming about, change jobs, or ask for a raise? Would you use the word “no” more often, stop people pleasing, or start speaking your mind?

If you weren’t hanging out with self-doubt, would you stop playing small and talking yourself out of going for things? Would you wear your ambition with pride, and collaborate with other women instead of feeling the need to compete with them?

While I haven’t had the opportunity to meet you personally, I’ve worked with enough women throughout my 15 years of professional coaching to know that your answer to these questions is YES.

Yes. If you felt confident you would say no more often. You would stop it with approval seeking, and start speaking up for yourself. You wouldn’t say yes when you mean no, and you’d give yourself permission to go for what you want. In fact, you’d celebrate the very act of going for things, and you’d look for ways to cooperate with other women while you did it.

While that sounds wonderful, it’s also (unfortunately) rare. Women aren’t typically taught how to behave with confidence. In fact, we’re often encouraged to question ourselves, and even given positive attention for playing the damsel in distress. (#nomoredamsels)

I share this not to discourage you, but to encourage you. If you’ve been hanging out with self-doubt more than self-confidence, there’s no reason to beat yourself up. You’re not alone, and you can turn your doubt around in a matter of days.

As it turns out, confidence is not something you think your way into. You have to behave your way there. While this might sound a little bit daunting, it’s actually great news because it puts you in the driver’s seat. You can grow your confidence right now. I’ll show you how in 3 simple steps. Read More

How To Make Guilt Work For You

By | Get Your Groove Back | Leave A Comment

How often do you feel guilty?

A recent poll of parents found that both moms and dads feel guilt an average of 23 times per week. (Wow, right?) How about this stat – another survey of women found that moms feel guilt EVERY SINGLE DAY.

What about you? Are you in the guilty-every-single-day club? (It’s not really a club you would have joined on purpose, is it?) While you probably can’t get out of your membership, guilt doesn’t have to make you miserable. In today’s blog, and in our current episode of GrooveTV, I’ll teach you how to make guilt work for you.

Step 1: Understand the science of guilt.

Before we talk about how to manage guilt, let’s talk about why it’s important for you to take control of it. We begin with the obvious. Guilt feels terrible. (But you already knew that, right?)

Unfortunately, it gets much worse than just feeling bad. Guilt produces a stress response in your body, which weakens your immune system, reduces your libido, and MAKES YOU FAT. (I have your attention now, don’t I?)

There is science to how this happens. When your guilt is triggered, your body releases cortisol, which is a stress hormone. Cortisol is designed to help you with the flight part of a fight-or-flight response. But when you don’t really need to run from the saber toothed tiger (because he’s only chasing you in your head) you basically jack-up your biochemistry. (That’s a scientific description.) Read More

Who are you? How to navigate the ins and outs of identity

By | Get Your Groove Back | One Comment | Leave A Comment

Who are you? That’s a pretty loaded question, isn’t it? When you attempt to answer it, you probably refer to your identity, which is your sense of self. It’s the sum total of your personality, interests, likes, dislikes, strengths and weaknesses all rolled up into one lovely complicated package. Your identity is how you think about and see yourself.

Throughout your life, you’ll go through many changes. (And if you’re part of my free coaching program, you’re definitely gonna shake things up.) The thing is, all that shaking and changing impacts your identity. And that can feel FREAKY.

In fact, when you’re going through your own changing times, you can feel like you’re coming unglued. (You kind of are.) Change causes pieces of you to shift. Think of it like an identity earthquake. You’re going to live through it, but you’re probably not gonna like it very much.

It’s important to get your arms around your sense of identity, because it impacts how you show up in the world. It even determines whether or not you succeed in making positive changes in your life.

You see, you cannot behave outside of your identity. You always act in accordance with who you think you are. Which means you have to line the way you see yourself up with the changes you’re making if you want them to stick. (How hard do you think following a nutrition plan is going to be if you keep reminding yourself that you’re a junk-food-junkie with no food discipline?)

In our current episode of GrooveTV I’ll show you how identity works, and help you put your finger on where yours is shifting (or where it might need to). Armed with that information, you’ll be more sure-footed as you make your way down your own path of change. As an added bonus, you’ll also feel a little bit less like you’re losing your mind. Press PLAY already. Your sanity awaits. ☺ Read More