By now, it’s possible you’ve broken your new year’s resolution. Or perhaps you’re still on the program, but gutting it out. (While using a great deal of willpower.)
What would you say if I asked you to consider not making any resolutions this year? What if you made real change instead? If I could show you how to make life changes that stick, would you be interested?
I can. ☺
Real change happens when you connect to the big picture of your life, and line your actions up with the outcomes you’re seeking. Change that sticks requires you to upgrade the way you’re doing things. (I know. Yuck. Work for you.) On the bright side, you’re in charge.
Aren’t you tired of saying you’re going to change a thing, and then resisting the changing of that thing? Doesn’t it feel like you’re running around in emotional circles? (You are.) Aren’t you ready to step off this particular treadmill? You can.
You can make any change you’re seeking, but you’re going to need to work for it. I’ll show you how to make a change that sticks in this week’s episode of GrooveTV. We’ll do it in 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already. You’re new life is waiting.
Step 1 – Develop a vision for your life.
What do you want for your life?
If you can’t answer that question, you’re chances of getting it are pretty slim.
You can’t hit a target you don’t define.
When you don’t have a vision, it’s easy to get pulled in a million different directions. Happily, as soon as you establish a picture of what you want, it begins to function like a personal true north. It guides your behavior. When you need to make a choice, referring to your vision helps you make one that lines up with what you want for yourself.
The term vision intimidates some people right out of dreaming one up, but developing a life vision isn’t complicated. No weekend retreat is required, and you don’t have to meditate every day. (Though I’m a fan of both). You just need to ask and answer six questions.
- What do you want for your health and physical vitality?
- What you want for your relationships?
- What do you want for your money and financial well being?
- What do you want for your business or career?
- What do you want for your lifestyle and life experience?
- What do you want for your spiritual connectedness and sense of purpose?
You can’t do this wrong (except not to do it at all). Answer your questions. Start with your first response. Then let it morph. Check in with yourself regularly, and allow the picture in your mind to get more and more specific. That’s all there is to vision. (No sweat, right?)
Step 2 – Connect with your why.
Now that you know what you want, we want to match that up with the power of why you want it.
I’ll be honest with you. This isn’t going to be easy. Changing your behavior requires grit. It’s active. It asks something of you. You can’t think your way into change. You have to act your way there, and sometimes that’s hard. (That’s why most people don’t do it.)
You need a strong enough reason to keep moving forward when you hit one of those hard patches. You need to know what it’s all for. Why are you doing what you’re doing?
When your why is strong enough, you will find a way.
I want you to get clear about all you have to gain by making your change, and all you have to lose if you don’t. We do this using two kinds of questions.
Questions about what you have to gain. Imagine your life once you have what you want. What will you gain when you make it happen? What will you be able to do for the people you love?
Questions about what you have to lose. What if you don’t do it? What will you miss out on? What will it cost you? What will it cost the ones you love?
Think of your why like your fuel. When the going gets tough, your why powers you forward. Spend some time here. Make it real.
You’re gonna need the energy…
Step 3 – Line your habits up with what you want.
Your actions need to line up with the outcomes you’re seeking. You don’t get the athletic body without the workouts. Financial abundance is not possible when you spend more than you earn. Loving marriages don’t happen between partners who neglect each other.
YOU are going to have to change.
The way you do your life must adjust to the goals you seek. You need to become the person who would have the life you’re dreaming of. You need to do what they would do, and you need to stop doing things they wouldn’t do.
Your current reality is a reflection of your previous actions, so if you want a better future, you need to upgrade your actions. It’s that simple.
- What do you need to start doing to have what you want?
- What do you need to stop doing to have what you want?
Write your answers down on paper. Make a list. (If I were working with you in person I’d have you make lists of starts and stops for each of the six categories we went over in step 1. You might want to give that a try.)
Once you’ve done the exercise, it’s normal to have a pretty long list. Which can feel completely overwhelming. BREATHE. You are strong and capable. You can totally do this.
There are two ways to approach life changes. You can rip the band-aid off, and make all of your changes at once, or you can slow roll, making one change at a time. I’m a fan of the slow roll because it lets you grow into your changes. (It’s also way less intimidating, which means you’re more likely to actually do it.)
Behavior comes down to habit. You need to develop habits for your starts and break them for your stops. This takes energy, focus and commitment. You can do it.
This week, pick one start/stop duo, and begin conditioning. Next week add another. The next week add another. Before you know it, your life will be filled with positive change. No resolutions required.
That’s it for the week. Please remember that I never want you to blindly take my word for anything. Only you know what’s right for you. (I just happen to have a few coaching tools that can help you get closer to that wisdom.) Give this week’s advice a test-drive. Once you do, let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you! There are three ways for us to interact.
- Comment in the comments section below.
- Chat with me on Instagram or Facebook.
- Email me if you have something more private you’d like to ask. My personal email is firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m the only one reading your messages, and it’s always me answering them.
I’m here for your empowerment. If you haven’t already joined my community, please do it at my website (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). I’ll send you a free coaching video and blog every Wednesday, and we’ll get your groove back together.
Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.
And you got this!