Are you living your best life? Or are you (like so many women) stumbling through your days like a zombie, moving from one task to the next without a lot of thought or intention? If you haven’t made some basic decisions about the way you’re gonna do life, there’s a good chance you have a lot of zombie days.
It’s so easy to lose yourself on the gauntlet of every day living, isn’t it? You have endless responsibilities. You’re juggling deadlines, errands, meetings, and incoming requests like a champ. You take care of tons people, and keep track of millions of little details. It’s enough to make your head spin.
The thing with head spinning, is that it leads to overwhelm and emotional fatigue. Your trusty friends ignoring, autopilot, and numbing out can start looking like pretty good buddies to hang with. (Whatever it takes to get through the day, right?)
You’re better than that. No more zombie living for you. Let’s put a little life back into that reality of yours, shall we? In this weeks’ episode of GrooveTV I’ll help you overcome 3 common obstacles to living your best life. Press PLAY already. Let’s save the zombie action for your weekend binge watching, okay?
Step 1: Raise your standards.
When you raise your standards you change your life.
A standard is a baseline. It’s a reference point you can use to determine whether or not something is good enough for you. It’s important to have standards, and to check your life against them every once in awhile.
Standards act like a true north of sorts. They help you determine where you’re off course, and when and where you need to make adjustments. (Every life requires adjusting.) You can do your own standards check by answering three categories of questions.
- Where are you settling? Where have you given up on a dream? Where have you lowered your standards, or just resigned yourself to your current circumstances? What would it look like if you stopped settling?
- Where are you putting up with things that really bother you? What are you tolerating? Name three things that bug the crap out of you (for real), and decide to handle those things once and for all.
- Where are you playing small? Where are you hiding? What would it look like if you started showing up and playing big?
- Ask these questions, and wait for the response. It will come. There’s a wisdom within you. She has the answer to any question you could ask, and she’d rather watch The Walking Dead than be part of it.
Step 2: Empower your environment.
This sounds a little funny, but it’s just like it sounds. Your physical space impacts you. (Way more than you might realize.) Your home environment needs to support your goals. If you’re committed to eating clean, your kitchen needs to have clean food in it. If you’ve decided to use your treadmill every morning, it needs to be in working order (and not acting as a clothes hanger).
The same thing goes for your office. It needs to be set up in a way that allows you to be productive and do what needs doing. The way you get around matters too. If you drive, your car needs to start. Reliably. If you’re using mass transit or you walk, you need a plan in place to make sure you get where you need to be on time and in a good frame of mind.
Your environment sets you up to win – or lose.
Let’s set you up to win, okay? I want you to take a look at the three environments that impact you most.
- Does your home environment serve you? If not, what needs to change?
- Does your work environment serve you? If not, what needs changing?
- Does your form of transportation (auto, walk or mass transit) serve you? If not, what needs to change?
Expect to have things that need changing. That’s not an indictment. That’s just human. Focus on the easiest changes first. They’ll give you momentum to tackle the tougher ones.
This next step is one of the tougher ones. Deep breath.
Step 3: Choose your people on purpose.
Think about the five people you spend the most time with.
Do you want to be like them?
Because if you’re hanging out with them, that’s where you’re headed.
You see, you become like the people you spend the most time with. This works great when you’re around empowering people, but it becomes a challenge when you find yourself connected to the disempowering ones. So you have to learn to sort.
Know your worth. You deserve to be around people who are FOR you. These people will be excited when good things happen for you, and they’ll encourage you to go for your dreams. They’ll tell you that you can do something, even when you’re not sure you can. They’ll remind you of everything that is right about you when all you can think about are the things that are wrong. These are empowering people. You want to be surrounded by them.
The trouble is, unless you’ve decided to cultivate empowering relationships, there’s a good chance you’re in a few that aren’t so empowering. This sneaky little thing happens in life. You end up spending time with people by circumstance more than you do by choice.
Think about it. You don’t choose your work people, or even your family members for that matter. It’s normal to spend a lot of time with someone just because you’re both on the same project or your kids are in the same class. Let’s do a little check in.
Are you spending your time with people who are FOR you?
You’ll know based on the way you feel after you’ve been with them. Are you content? Do you feel good about yourself? Or are you drained and doubting your life?
If you’re doing the drained and doubting thing, you need to take a second look at being around the person who helped you get there. This is a hard truth, but I’m here to give it to you straight. So here’s the straight truth.
There are self-serving, disempowering people out there. There are people who are so unhappy with their own lives that they delight in pulling others down into the dark with them. There are people who will use you, take from you, and even take pleasure in keeping you down. I call them draggers, and there’s a good chance you’ve got a few.
You must lose these people.
It will hurt, and you will be uncomfortable. Maybe you’ve known one of them forever, or you could even be related to one. Whatever the circumstance, minimize your time with draggers, and keep your emotional flack jacket on when you have to be around them.
Choose your people on purpose. Cultivate empowering relationships, and while you’re at it, make sure that you’re showing up as one of the empowering ones. Be FOR the people in your life. Be FOR you too. ☺
That’s it for the week. Please remember that I never want you to blindly take my word for anything. Only you know what’s right for you. (I just happen to have a few coaching tools that can help you get closer to that wisdom.) Give this week’s advice a test-drive. Once you do, let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you! There are three ways for us to interact.
- Comment in the comments section below.
- Chat with me on Instagram or Facebook.
- Email me if you have something more private you’d like to ask. My personal email is firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m the only one reading your messages, and it’s always me answering them.
I’m here for your empowerment. If you haven’t already joined my community, please do it at my website (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). I’ll send you a free coaching video and blog every Wednesday, and we’ll get your groove back together.
Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.
And you got this!