With the holidays upon us, I thought it would be appropriate to have a discussion about boundaries. Because the truth of the matter is this. Your to-do list is about to birth holiday quadruplets, and your schedule now includes a ton of time with extended family. (And that is not always easy.)
Family is the source of so much love and support. It can also be the source of a great deal of angst and unnecessary drama. We’re all spoon fed this picture of holiday bliss and togetherness (especially now that we live in a social media age), but in my work as a life coach, I’ve found that family stories are a lot more complicated than that.
Everyone has a rulebook they use for life. Your rules tell you what’s okay, and what’s not okay. They guide your behavior, and they dictate what you expect from other people. This would work great if everyone played by the same rules, but (of course) that’s not how it works. People’s rules for life differ as much as people do.
When you think about rules in this way, it makes sense that gathering a large group of people together (even when they love each other) is going to result in some level of dysfunction and conflict, doesn’t it? While there’s little you can do to control the presence of challenging circumstances, you are totally in control of how you respond to them.
I want you to respond on purpose, so today I’m going to teach you how to set boundaries. A boundary is a behavioral fence. It helps you define limits for others, and it helps others define limits for you.
Hear me now. Relationships without boundaries do not work. They create misunderstandings, and breed resentment. (So it’s really important that you deal with setting boundaries, even if it makes you uncomfortable.) Let’s master boundaries in our current episode of GrooveTV. Press PLAY already. You’re in charge of you, remember? Read More