Category

Figure It Out

Jul 11

How to Get Unstuck

By Figure It Out 6 Comments

If you’re human, you’ve probably been stuck a time or two. (In fact, if you’re reading this, there’s a good bet you’re stuck on something right now.) Being in that sticky place feels like quicksand, doesn’t it? The more you struggle, the further you seem to sink, but you can’t stop thrashing around.

Stuck is exhausting, because it puts you in constant emotional motion, but you’re not actually getting anywhere (except deeper in the quicksand pit). Even worse, stuck comes with it’s own playlist of dark emotions.

In the beginning, you might be frustrated, impatient, or indignant. Eventually, after fighting stuck for a while, you transition to feeling angry, sad, resigned, and possibly even hopeless.

Stuck-ness involves struggle and repetition. Maybe you’re having the same argument over and over again with an important person in your life, where you talk the problem to death, but can’t seem to solve it. Or the same kind of person could be showing up in in your life again and again, derailing you with their drama and distraction.

You could be in the worst of stuck, where you’ve fallen into a self-defeating pattern. This is the stuck where you’re doing something that isn’t good for you or your life. You know your behavior is in conflict with what you want for yourself. But you keep doing it anyway.

Maybe you’re spending money you don’t have, or procrastinating and avoiding doing what needs to be done. You could be self-harming. Maybe you’re drinking or popping a pill to numb out, pounding bags of Doritos to comfort yourself, or confusing sex with love. Every morning you vow you won’t do whatever your “it” is again, but you do. Again. And again. And again.

That (of course) makes you feel so bad about yourself that you need a little something to numb or comfort again, so you go right back to what you said you wouldn’t do. It’s a vicious cycle on perpetual repeat.

Would you be interested if I told you I had a formula you could use to get un-stuck? I’ve used it myself (for some doozies) and as a life coach for women I’ve taught many of my clients how to use it for themselves.

No matter how bad things are right now, or how long you’ve been dealing with your problem or self-defeating pattern, I want you to know you can change it. You don’t have to live with stuck. You are way bigger than that.

Let’s do this, shall we? In this week’s episode of GrooveTV, I’ll give you 3 steps to get un-stuck once and for all. Press PLAY already. Sticky is icky. Read More

Oct 25

How to put the passion back into your life.

By Figure It Out, Get Your Groove Back 4 Comments

When was the last time you felt passionate?

I’m not talking about sexual passion. (Though that’s what most people think about when the word is used.) I’m talking life passion. When you have passion in your life, you wake up excited about the day ahead of you, and you take on projects with enthusiasm. With passion in your heart, you become the girl who goes for it. (Even when you’re going for daunting or difficult things.)

A passionate you is a powerful you, but if you’re like most women, you probably haven’t felt the fire in a long time. (It’s tough to feel passionate when you’re drowning in your own life, isn’t it?) If you’re deep in the drowning part right now, you may doubt that passion is possible for you, but that’s not true.

Passion is possible for you, and you can claim it today. (I promise it’s true. Keep reading.)

The topic of passion itself can feel tough to grasp. What’s the big deal anyway? Who cares if you have it? What difference does it make? The thing is, it can make a pretty big difference. You see, a life without passion can turn you into a member of the Walking Dead. (In case you haven’t watched the popular show, those are flesh-eating zombies I’m referring to. Super fun to watch on TV. Super stinky to live like one.)

If you’re stuck in zombie land, living on autopilot, going through the motions, and just trying to make it through the day, this blog is for you. A life without passion is a life without joy. You deserve so much better than that. Let’s go claim your better right now, okay? In our current episode of GrooveTV we’re gonna create your very own passion formula. Press PLAY already. Let’s light your fire. It’s time.

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Aug 16

Yes you DO know. How to listen to yourself.

By Figure It Out, Get Your Groove Back 4 Comments

There is an obstacle standing between you and what you want. It’s you. Pretending you don’t know what you want.

You know.

In fact, there’s a wisdom within you that always knows. This authentic understanding is available to you on-demand. You can tap into it at any time. The trouble (of course) is that no one ever taught you to tap into it, right?

Happily, the tapping itself is a simple process. I’ll walk you through it in our current episode of GrooveTV. Before we do that, let’s talk about the reasons you avoid knowing.

It’s possible your wisdom is buried deep down inside of you, waiting to get your attention as you run through life. Or you could be denying what you want because you aren’t sure you really deserve to have it. (If that’s the case, check out my blog Know Your Worth. It can help.)

What’s more likely (and what I’ve helped countless clients break through) is that you’re pretending you don’t know (when we both know you do) because you’re afraid you’re going to have to do something about what you know once you acknowledge it.

Admitting you don’t like your job probably means you’ll need to look for a new one sooner or later. Acknowledging your disappointment with your marriage could lead to marital trouble (or even divorce). And who wants that? Owning your self-destructive behavior might mean you have to finally clean up your act, right? Wrong.

What if I told you that you can know a thing without doing anything about what you know? You can.

In fact, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to simply hang out with your truth once you know it, without doing anything about it at all. This is the approach I take when I’m working with a 1×1 coaching client. We start the practice of knowing by stepping into a place I call the Land of Just Knowing.

This magical land is just like it sounds. When you visit, you are allowed to let yourself know (whatever it is that needs to be known) without any pressure to act on what you discover.

In this land, the knowing itself is the goal. There are no action plans or big terrifying life changes allowed here. You’re just acknowledging truth, and getting used to what it feels like again.

Let’s visit the Land of Just Knowing right now, shall we? Listening to yourself is a life saving skill. I’ll teach you how to do it in 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already. Your wisdom is waiting.

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Apr 12

How To Figure Out What You Want

By Figure It Out, Get Your Groove Back No Comments

Is your life what you want it to be? Does it look anything like what you hoped it would when you were a little girl? If you’re like most women, it probably doesn’t. (Even if it’s pretty good.)

Life has a way of pulling you off course. It’s loud and demanding, and it takes everything you’ll give it. (You’re responsible for so many people and so many things it makes your head spin, doesn’t it?)

Typically, it’s not one big thing that moves you in the wrong direction. It’s usually the culmination of a lot of little things that do. Every time you say yes when you mean no, cross yourself off your own list (to make room for someone else) or shut your mouth when you really need to say something, you step a little further down the path of wrong.

If you do this for long enough, you can get yourself pretty lost. (Like deep-in-the-woods-without-a-compass lost.) If this sounds familiar, don’t worry. You can find your way back – to yourself and that life you used to dream about. You really can. But you have to decide what you want before you take any more steps.

Your wants function like True North on a compass. Once you’ve decided on them, they can help you decide on everything else. In this week’s episode of GrooveTV I’m gonna help you figure out what you want. We’ll do it in about 5 minutes and 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already. Your wants are waiting. (And your life is totally worth the 5 minutes, isn’t it?) Read More

Jan 18

Tired of self-sabotage? How to get out of your own way.

By Figure It Out No Comments

You messed up.

Again.

You broke your promise, and let yourself down. Now you’re hanging your head in shame, hating on yourself, and obsessing about your problem.

Stop it.

Pick your head up. No more obsessing, and no more saying mean stuff to yourself. That’s not going to help anything. You’re not a screw-up, and you’re not destined to fail.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

But there could be something wrong with the way you’re doing your life.

If you keep getting in your own way, creating your own problems, or stopping yourself just before you succeed, this blog’s for you.

I’ve been working as a life coach for more than a decade. I’m in business because most people need to change something. (This human thing is not for sissies.) One of the most maddening problems I help clients overcome is self-sabotage.

  • You’re up for a promotion. It hinges on an important presentation. You don’t know why, but you procrastinate until the last minute. You end up doing a mediocre job on it. Bye-bye promotion.
  • You’re beginning to feel really close to someone special. Out of nowhere, you start a fight over something trivial. See ya closeness.
  • You’re at an important event. These are new peers, and you want to make a good impression. Somehow one too many drinks get into your hand (and down your hatch.) You get super drunk, and make a fool of yourself. Good impression made? Yeah, not so much.

Recognize yourself? Me too. In fact, every one of these examples is from my own life. ☺

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