There is an obstacle standing between you and what you want. It’s you. Pretending you don’t know what you want.
In fact, there’s a wisdom within you that always knows. This authentic understanding is available to you on-demand. You can tap into it at any time. The trouble (of course) is that no one ever taught you to tap into it, right?
Happily, the tapping itself is a simple process. I’ll walk you through it in our current episode of GrooveTV. Before we do that, let’s talk about the reasons you avoid knowing.
It’s possible your wisdom is buried deep down inside of you, waiting to get your attention as you run through life. Or you could be denying what you want because you aren’t sure you really deserve to have it. (If that’s the case, check out my blog Know Your Worth. It can help.)
What’s more likely (and what I’ve helped countless clients break through) is that you’re pretending you don’t know (when we both know you do) because you’re afraid you’re going to have to do something about what you know once you acknowledge it.
Admitting you don’t like your job probably means you’ll need to look for a new one sooner or later. Acknowledging your disappointment with your marriage could lead to marital trouble (or even divorce). And who wants that? Owning your self-destructive behavior might mean you have to finally clean up your act, right? Wrong.
What if I told you that you can know a thing without doing anything about what you know? You can.
In fact, it’s perfectly acceptable for you to simply hang out with your truth once you know it, without doing anything about it at all. This is the approach I take when I’m working with a 1×1 coaching client. We start the practice of knowing by stepping into a place I call the Land of Just Knowing.
This magical land is just like it sounds. When you visit, you are allowed to let yourself know (whatever it is that needs to be known) without any pressure to act on what you discover.
In this land, the knowing itself is the goal. There are no action plans or big terrifying life changes allowed here. You’re just acknowledging truth, and getting used to what it feels like again.
Let’s visit the Land of Just Knowing right now, shall we? Listening to yourself is a life saving skill. I’ll teach you how to do it in 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already. Your wisdom is waiting.
Step 1 – Pay attention to your body.
Your body is constantly giving you physical signals.
- The tingling up your spine that warns of danger.
- The flutter in your heart that tells you to take action.
- The gut clench alerting you that something’s off when you enter a room.
You get the picture. Your body is always talking to you. You just need to learn to listen.
Western society rewards head presence, so most of us live above the neck. If you’re not engaged in a practice that teaches body awareness (like yoga or meditation), you probably do too.
But living from the neck up detaches you from priceless wisdom. Wisdom you can use to direct your life. To connect with this wisdom, all you have to do is start paying attention to what your body is trying to tell you.
When you do, you’ll notice that every yes or no decision you make comes with body signals. I want you to start noticing these physical sensations as you make yes and no decisions in your life.
A fun way to do this is to make a game of it. Do you remember the one from grade school called Red Light, Green Light? Let’s play that.
For me, green light (my yes signal) is an expansive feeling in my chest, or the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck will stand up. When I feel these physical sensations, I know I need to move forward. On the other hand, when my gut clinches or my eye twitches I know I’m in red light territory (which is no go), and I need to slow down and choose carefully.
I want you to give this a try. For the rest of this week, every time you go to make a decision, do it while tuning into your body’s clues. You’ll start to notice your yes and no signals. What does red light feel like? How about green light?
Once you start playing, you’ll be surprised by how quickly you’ll come to rely on your body’s messages. (Mine almost always gets a vote when I’m making a choice.) Think of this strategy like having your own internal compass that never steers you wrong.
Now that you’re listening, let’s talk practice.
Step 2 – Practice knowing on low stakes choices.
Knowing takes practice. You have to establish a habit of connecting with, listening to, and acknowledging what your inner wisdom is telling you. It can be a very scary process, so we want to get started with simple (not scary) stuff.
We won’t begin with heavy topics like marriage, family or career. No, we’re gonna kick off by thinking about what you want to eat, which color blouse to wear, and what you’d like to watch on TV tonight.
Think of it this way. You wouldn’t expect yourself to walk into a gym and squat 100 pounds if you haven’t done a squat since junior high school, would you? (Of course not.) You’d start with a lower weight, right? So it goes with your knowing. We start with the small weights, which means you begin by making inconsequential choices.
No more opting out of the small stuff. No more claiming you don’t care what you eat, which restaurant you go to, or what you watch on Netflix. It’s time for you to have an opinion, and start making tiny choices in an effort to strengthen your choosing muscles.
Each time a question is posed to you, pause, breathe, ask yourself what you want, and let the answer come. It will come. Your brain is a super computer. It will serve up an answer as long as you ask with the expectation that it will.
When you make little decisions while tapping into your inner instinct, you develop self-trust and confidence in your ability to know stuff. And the better you get at knowing in low stakes areas, the more ready you’ll be to know when the stakes rise high.
Last but not least…
Step 3 – Follow the animation.
There is purpose on your life. You were born for a reason, with lessons to learn, some to teach, and contributions only you can make. The events of your life are designed to help you make good on this purpose.
Your life will lead you if you let it. #GetYourGrooveBack
In every moment, you are surrounded by clues. These cues are ready to lead you in a purposeful direction. Part of your spiritual growth involves recognizing and working with these signs.
The clues themselves come in many forms. Maybe the perfect quote shows up in your social media feed, validating a hunch you’ve been toying with. The right book might present itself, with the next step you’ve been searching for. Or perhaps an invitation shows up in your email (because a person you need to meet will be attending the event you’ve just been invited to.)
You’ll know it when a clue has crossed your path, because it will feel irresistible. It will appear bright and shiny – and animated. (Think Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz following the yellow brick road or Merida in the movie Brave following the wisps to her destiny.) Your clues are spiritual guidance.
I want you to get acquainted with what your own version of guidance looks and feels like. What are the physical sensations that accompany your spiritual attraction? How does guidance typically show up in your life? Start watching for it. It’s right there waiting for you to notice it.
When bright and shiny beckons, follow. When your curiosity is piqued, check out whatever it is that has piqued it. When you’re unsure about which path to take, pause to seek spiritual clues.
If you haven’t done a lot of spiritual work, I know this can feel a little new age-y. Please suspend your disbelief long enough to give it a try. I promise you this works, and practicing it allows you to tap into a universal guidance system that’s designed to help you live your purpose.
I was transformed the day I realized I didn’t have to do this life thing alone. I know that my Creator is always with me. I am surrounded by benevolence and being guided every step of my journey.
Guess what? You’re reading this for a reason. You don’t have to do this life thing alone. Your Creator is always with you. You are surrounded by benevolence, and being guided every step of your journey. ☺
Be brave. And follow. You can. I am. Let’s do it together, okay?
That’s it for the week. Please remember that I never want you to blindly take my word for anything. Only you know what’s right for you. (I just happen to have a few coaching tools that can help you get closer to that wisdom.) Give this week’s advice a test drive. Once you do, let me know how it goes. I love hearing from you! There are four ways for us to interact.
That’s it for the week. Remember that I never want you to blindly take my word for anything. Only you know what’s right for you. I just happen to have a few coaching tools that can help you get closer to that wisdom. Give this lesson’s advice a test drive in your life, and let me know how it goes. There are three ways for us to interact.
- Comment in the comments section below.
- Chat with me on on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn.
- Email me if you have something more private you’d like to ask. My personal email is firstname.lastname@example.org. I’m the only one reading your messages, and it’s always me answering them.
My mission is your empowerment. That’s why I’m here. If you haven’t already joined my community, please do it by entering your email (www.kimberlyfulcher.com). Until we meet again, know that life is happening for you.
And you got this!