How to Get Unstuck

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If you’re human, you’ve probably been stuck a time or two. In fact, if you’re reading this, there’s a good bet you’re stuck on something right now. (If that’s the case, please keep reading. I can help.)

Being stuck is exhausting, because even though you’re not actually getting anywhere, you’re in constant emotional motion. You see, stuck comes with it’s own playlist of dark feelings.

In the beginning, you might be frustrated, impatient, or indignant. Eventually, after fighting stuck for a while, you transition to feeling angry, sad, and possibly even hopeless.

Stuck-ness involves struggle and repetition. Maybe you’re having the same argument over and over again with your spouse (or boss, or parent, or child) where you talk the problem to death, but you can’t seem to solve it. Or the same kind of person could be showing up in in your life again and again, derailing you with their drama and distraction.

You could be in the worst of stuck, where you’ve fallen into a self-defeating pattern. This is the stuck where you’re doing something that isn’t good for you (or your life). You know your behavior is in conflict with what you say you want. You know it’s not good for you. But you keep doing it anyway.

Maybe you’re spending money you don’t have, or you’re procrastinating and avoiding doing what needs to be done to move your life forward. You could be self-harming. Maybe you’re drinking or popping a pill to numb out, pounding bags of Doritos to comfort yourself, or confusing sex with love (and therefore having quite a lot of it).

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How to set a boundary.

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With the holidays upon us, I thought it would be appropriate to have a discussion about boundaries. Because the truth of the matter is this. Your to-do list is about to birth holiday quadruplets, and your schedule now includes a ton of time with extended family. (And that is not always easy.)

Family is the source of so much love and support. It can also be the source of a great deal of angst and unnecessary drama. We’re all spoon fed this picture of holiday bliss and togetherness (especially now that we live in a social media age), but in my work as a life coach, I’ve found that family stories are a lot more complicated than that.

Everyone has a rulebook they use for life. Your rules tell you what’s okay, and what’s not okay. They guide your behavior, and they dictate what you expect from other people. This would work great if everyone played by the same rules, but (of course) that’s not how it works. People’s rules for life differ as much as people do.

When you think about rules in this way, it makes sense that gathering a large group of people together (even when they love each other) is going to result in some level of dysfunction and conflict, doesn’t it? While there’s little you can do to control the presence of challenging circumstances, you are totally in control of how you respond to them.

I want you to respond on purpose, so today I’m going to teach you how to set boundaries. A boundary is a behavioral fence. It helps you define limits for others, and it helps others define limits for you.

Hear me now. Relationships without boundaries do not work. They create misunderstandings, and breed resentment. (So it’s really important that you deal with setting boundaries, even if it makes you uncomfortable.) Let’s master boundaries in our current episode of GrooveTV. Press PLAY already. You’re in charge of you, remember? Read More

How To Get Motivated

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You know that thing you want? (It’s the one you keep fantasizing about and wishing for.) You can have it. You really can, and it will be just as fantastic as you keep imagining. There’s a catch. (Of course.) You can’t think your way into a fantasy-come-true life. You have to behave your way there. You have to live for the life you want. (I can show you how to do that. Keep reading.)

The unpleasant truth about lost dreams is that most people don’t have what they want because they aren’t willing to do what needs to be done to have it. (Ouch, right?) Big accomplishments ask for big behavior. They require your engagement, your effort, and your consistency.

To have what you want, you’re going to need to do some things you don’t want to do. (Probably a lot of them actually.) You’re also going to be uncomfortable more times than you can count. You’re going to have to stretch and grow. While that’s simple (if somewhat unpleasant) to understand, it’s not an easy thing to do. Motivation can help you do it.

Motivation is an energy that helps you buckle down and do what needs to be done (even when you REALLY don’t want to do it). Motivation is an internal fuel that pushes you through blocks, and pulls you into those fantasies-come-true I mentioned earlier. You CAN have your dream life. Motivation can help you claim it, and in our current episode of GrooveTV we’re gonna get you some. Press PLAY already. Your mojo is waiting. ☺

We’ll handle this in three simple steps. (Like always.) Here we go… Read More

How to put the passion back into your life.

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When was the last time you felt passionate?

I’m not talking about sexual passion. (Though that’s what most people think about when the word is used.) I’m talking life passion. When you have passion in your life, you wake up excited about the day ahead of you, and you take on projects with enthusiasm. With passion in your heart, you become the girl who goes for it. (Even when you’re going for daunting or difficult things.)

A passionate you is a powerful you, but if you’re like most women, you probably haven’t felt the fire in a long time. (It’s tough to feel passionate when you’re drowning in your own life, isn’t it?) If you’re deep in the drowning part right now, you may doubt that passion is possible for you, but that’s not true.

Passion is possible for you, and you can claim it today. (I promise it’s true. Keep reading.)

The topic of passion itself can feel tough to grasp. What’s the big deal anyway? Who cares if you have it? What difference does it make? The thing is, it can make a pretty big difference. You see, a life without passion can turn you into a member of the Walking Dead. (In case you haven’t watched the popular show, those are flesh-eating zombies I’m referring to. Super fun to watch on TV. Super stinky to live like one.)

If you’re stuck in zombie land, living on autopilot, going through the motions, and just trying to make it through the day, this blog is for you. A life without passion is a life without joy. You deserve so much better than that. Let’s go claim your better right now, okay? In our current episode of GrooveTV we’re gonna create your very own passion formula. Press PLAY already. Let’s light your fire. It’s time.

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How To Ditch The Drama In Your Life

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If your life isn’t working the way you want it to, there’s a pretty good bet you’re part of the problem. I know that sounds harsh, but I’m here to give it to you straight. So let’s talk straight.

If you’re doing drama, you’re creating problems in your life that don’t need to be there. Drama drains your life force. At its essence, drama is a distraction. It asks you to focus on things that don’t matter, creates emotional turmoil, and feeds off of your energy like a parasite. (Gross, right?)

Drama is a self-inflicted wound. It’s also an addictive cycle that keeps you depleted, stuck, and spinning around in a dark little vortex, feeling sorry for yourself, making people uncomfortable, and destroying your dreams.

I want you to stop it. (For real. Knock it off. You’re better than that.)

I wish I could tell you I know so much about drama because I’m a life coach. (And that does help.) But the truth of the matter is a little more uncomfortable than that. I know drama because I used do drama. (On like an epic scale.)

Because I’ve lived the drama cycle, I know that it does much more than just keep you stuck. Drama HURTS. When you’re in it, you feel anxious, unhinged, angry, and upset. You obsess. You stew. You play out little scenes in your mind where you really let so-and-so have it. (I used to run movies in my head.) At times it can even feel like you’re coming out of your own skin.

You don’t have to feel this way anymore.
Empowered women don’t do drama. You’re on the path to becoming an empowered woman, so let’s ditch that drama of yours, okay? In this week’s episode of GrooveTV I’m gonna show you how in 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already, and leave your drama in the dust. (Seriously, can you hear Mary J?) Read More

How To Make Guilt Work For You

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How often do you feel guilty?

A recent poll of parents found that both moms and dads feel guilt an average of 23 times per week. (Wow, right?) How about this stat – another survey of women found that moms feel guilt EVERY SINGLE DAY.

What about you? Are you in the guilty-every-single-day club? (It’s not really a club you would have joined on purpose, is it?) While you probably can’t get out of your membership, guilt doesn’t have to make you miserable. In today’s blog, and in our current episode of GrooveTV, I’ll teach you how to make guilt work for you.

Step 1: Understand the science of guilt.

Before we talk about how to manage guilt, let’s talk about why it’s important for you to take control of it. We begin with the obvious. Guilt feels terrible. (But you already knew that, right?)

Unfortunately, it gets much worse than just feeling bad. Guilt produces a stress response in your body, which weakens your immune system, reduces your libido, and MAKES YOU FAT. (I have your attention now, don’t I?)

There is science to how this happens. When your guilt is triggered, your body releases cortisol, which is a stress hormone. Cortisol is designed to help you with the flight part of a fight-or-flight response. But when you don’t really need to run from the saber toothed tiger (because he’s only chasing you in your head) you basically jack-up your biochemistry. (That’s a scientific description.) Read More