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Jumpstart Your Confidence

By | Get Your Groove Back | 2 Comments

What would you do if you felt more confident? Would you start that business you’ve been dreaming about, change jobs, or ask for a raise? Would you use the word “no” more often, stop people pleasing, or start speaking your mind?

If you weren’t hanging out with self-doubt, would you stop playing small and talking yourself out of going for things? Would you wear your ambition with pride, and collaborate with other women instead of feeling the need to compete with them?

While I haven’t had the opportunity to meet you personally, I’ve worked with enough women throughout my 15 years of professional coaching to know that your answer to these questions is YES.

Yes. If you felt confident you would say no more often. You would stop it with approval seeking, and start speaking up for yourself. You wouldn’t say yes when you mean no, and you’d give yourself permission to go for what you want. In fact, you’d celebrate the very act of going for things, and you’d look for ways to cooperate with other women while you did it.

While that sounds wonderful, it’s also (unfortunately) rare. Women aren’t typically taught how to behave with confidence. In fact, we’re often encouraged to question ourselves, and even given positive attention for playing the damsel in distress. (#nomoredamsels)

I share this not to discourage you, but to encourage you. If you’ve been hanging out with self-doubt more than self-confidence, there’s no reason to beat yourself up. You’re not alone, and you can turn your doubt around in a matter of days.

As it turns out, confidence is not something you think your way into. You have to behave your way there. While this might sound a little bit daunting, it’s actually great news because it puts you in the driver’s seat. You can grow your confidence right now. I’ll show you how in 3 simple steps. Read More

Know Your Worth. Then Live Like You Know It.

By | Get Your Groove Back | 6 Comments | Leave A Comment

What do you believe you deserve? That’s a pretty loaded question, isn’t it? In more than 15 years working as a women’s life coach, I’ve asked it thousands of times, and I’ve received countless answers. The majority of the responses have been disheartening, and they’ve revealed a startling truth. Women (even very successful, accomplished women) doubt their deservingness.

Deservingness is not to be confused with entitlement. Entitlement is about believing you have a right to something. Deservingness is about how much you believe you’re worth.

When you doubt your deservingness, what you’re really uncertain about is whether or not you measure up. Are you good enough? (YES.) You’ve made some pretty big mistakes. Do those bad blunders make you a bad person? (NO.) Are you a good enough person to deserve good things? (YES. YOU ARE.)

Many women carry around a secret shame that impacts their feelings of self-worth and deservingness. Our stories are individual, but our core experiences are very much the same. At some point in your life, someone told you there was something wrong with you. (This is inevitable, of course, because there’s something wrong with all of us.)

It gets to dangerous and disempowering territory through repetition. If even one person in your life tells you over and over again that there’s something wrong with you, well, you can start to believe them. Being rejected or criticized hurts, and it has a cumulative effect. Read More

How To Connect With Your Power

By | Get Your Groove Back | Leave A Comment

How to connect with your power.

What would you do if you felt powerful? Would you start that business you’ve been dreaming about, or ask for a raise? Would you use the word no more often, put an end to people pleasing, or start speaking your mind?

If you were feeling your mojo, what would you allow yourself to accomplish? Would you stop playing small and talking yourself out of going for things? Would you wear your ambition with pride, and collaborate with other women instead of feeling the need to compete with them?

While I haven’t had the opportunity to meet you personally, I’ve worked with enough women throughout my 15 years of professional coaching to know that your answer to these questions is YES.

Yes. If you felt powerful you would say no more often. You would stop it with approval seeking, and start speaking up for yourself. You wouldn’t say yes when you mean no, and you’d give yourself permission to go for what you want. In fact, you’d celebrate the very act of going for it, and you’d look for ways to cooperate and support your fellow sisters as they went for it too. (Totally awesome, right?)

You would do these things because when you’re centered in your own power, you show up to life as the best version of yourself. And let me tell you, the best version of you is a BADASS. When she takes charge of things, everything in your life improves.

Your career becomes more fulfilling and you start to succeed. Your relationships deepen and take on new dimensions. You get your financial house in order, and you become more confident. Your focus sharpens, your energy increases, and you begin to feel good in your own skin. You can live every day as the most empowered version of you. I’m here to show you how. Read More

How To Navigate Change

By | Get Your Groove Back | 6 Comments | Leave A Comment

Welcome to the season of the New Year’s Resolution. Have you made yours yet? Research shows us that about 41% of Americans do. It also shows that by February a whopping 80 percent of resolutions have been broken. While that statistic can feel a bit daunting, you don’t have to be part of the 80 percent.

You can join the gang that gets stuff done and makes change stick. (Those would be the people in 20 percent land). To do it, you just need to learn how to manage change. I’m going to teach you how to do that today. First, let’s talk a little bit about change itself.

As a life coach, I’ve helped clients make personal and professional changes for more than 14 years, and I’ve come to believe that all changes (even the positive ones) create earthquakes in your life. Some are little. Some are major. All of them shake you right to your core.

That’s because the process of changing is an active one. It asks something of you. You don’t get to sit back and let stuff happen when you’re dealing with transitions. Changing times require you to roll your sleeves up, and engage with your life like you mean it.

You have to decide what you want, alter your routines, and be willing to look at things in new ways. Change even asks you to expand the way you see yourself. As you can imagine, all of this altering and expanding feels really uncomfortable. In fact, it creates something called uncertainty.

Uncertainty is basically doubt on steroids. It places you in unpredictable territory, and that sends your brain into high alert. Which makes you feel like you’re coming unglued. It can also send you screaming back to your old way of doing things. (That 80 percent is starting to make sense now, isn’t it?)

Maybe you’re the one initiating change as you go for something you really want. (If so, you go girl!) Or perhaps you’re on the receiving end of an unwelcome and unwanted change. (If so, I’m sorry. That’s so hard.)

No matter how you got here, if you’re flailing around in the change zone trying to figure out how to make it through, I can help. (And don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re totally normal flailing around in there.) In our current episode of GrooveTV I’ll show you how to navigate change like a champ. Press PLAY already. Let’s kick some resolution booty, shall we?

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How to Get Unstuck

By | Get Your Groove Back | 4 Comments | Leave A Comment

If you’re human, you’ve probably been stuck a time or two. In fact, if you’re reading this, there’s a good bet you’re stuck on something right now. (If that’s the case, please keep reading. I can help.)

Being stuck is exhausting, because even though you’re not actually getting anywhere, you’re in constant emotional motion. You see, stuck comes with it’s own playlist of dark feelings.

In the beginning, you might be frustrated, impatient, or indignant. Eventually, after fighting stuck for a while, you transition to feeling angry, sad, and possibly even hopeless.

Stuck-ness involves struggle and repetition. Maybe you’re having the same argument over and over again with your spouse (or boss, or parent, or child) where you talk the problem to death, but you can’t seem to solve it. Or the same kind of person could be showing up in in your life again and again, derailing you with their drama and distraction.

You could be in the worst of stuck, where you’ve fallen into a self-defeating pattern. This is the stuck where you’re doing something that isn’t good for you (or your life). You know your behavior is in conflict with what you say you want. You know it’s not good for you. But you keep doing it anyway.

Maybe you’re spending money you don’t have, or you’re procrastinating and avoiding doing what needs to be done to move your life forward. You could be self-harming. Maybe you’re drinking or popping a pill to numb out, pounding bags of Doritos to comfort yourself, or confusing sex with love (and therefore having quite a lot of it).

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How to set a boundary.

By | Get Your Groove Back | One Comment | Leave A Comment

With the holidays upon us, I thought it would be appropriate to have a discussion about boundaries. Because the truth of the matter is this. Your to-do list is about to birth holiday quadruplets, and your schedule now includes a ton of time with extended family. (And that is not always easy.)

Family is the source of so much love and support. It can also be the source of a great deal of angst and unnecessary drama. We’re all spoon fed this picture of holiday bliss and togetherness (especially now that we live in a social media age), but in my work as a life coach, I’ve found that family stories are a lot more complicated than that.

Everyone has a rulebook they use for life. Your rules tell you what’s okay, and what’s not okay. They guide your behavior, and they dictate what you expect from other people. This would work great if everyone played by the same rules, but (of course) that’s not how it works. People’s rules for life differ as much as people do.

When you think about rules in this way, it makes sense that gathering a large group of people together (even when they love each other) is going to result in some level of dysfunction and conflict, doesn’t it? While there’s little you can do to control the presence of challenging circumstances, you are totally in control of how you respond to them.

I want you to respond on purpose, so today I’m going to teach you how to set boundaries. A boundary is a behavioral fence. It helps you define limits for others, and it helps others define limits for you.

Hear me now. Relationships without boundaries do not work. They create misunderstandings, and breed resentment. (So it’s really important that you deal with setting boundaries, even if it makes you uncomfortable.) Let’s master boundaries in our current episode of GrooveTV. Press PLAY already. You’re in charge of you, remember? Read More