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Get Your Groove Back

Resent Much? How to Let Go of a Grudge.

By | Catch Breath, Get Your Groove Back | 18 Comments

I’m willing to bet there’s at least one person in your life that causes you a great deal of angst. This is a person you don’t like very much, yet your circumstances require you to be around them (or to hear about them or to have to deal with them). Think co-worker, family member, or friend of a friend (who’s really a frenemy).

I call this person your anti-person. (The exact opposite of your person.) You know what’s interesting? I’ve been working as a women’s empowerment coach for 14 years, and I’ve never worked with a sister who hadn’t experienced an anti-person. In fact, there’s a pretty good chance you’re already thinking about yours as you read these words. (If so, please keep reading. I can help.)

The problem with anti-people is less about the fact that they’re in your life (although that is monumentally irritating). The problem with the anti-person is that they trigger you to enter a very unhappy zone called the grudge.

A grudge is a feeling of ill will or resentment against someone because of something they’ve done to you (or something you think they’ve done to you). It’s unexpressed, repressed emotional energy.

You may think that if you hold your tongue, stuff your feelings and pretend everything is okay (even when it’s not) things will eventually be okay. But they won’t. That’s not how it works.

Ignored emotions, don’t go away. The energy of them has to go somewhere. When not expressed, they get stored in your body, where they fester and become toxic. Repressed emotions land you in the vortex of the grudge. You do not want to be in this place.

A grudge is emotional cancer. It will take over your whole life and color it dark. It will literally steal your life force. Read More

What your hormonal meltdown is trying to tell you.

By | Catch Breath, Get Your Groove Back | 2 Comments

About once a month I act like a lunatic.

One minute I’m sad. The next I’m anxious. Then I’m irritated or feeling overwhelmed. By the end of the day, I’m tired – and eating chocolate. (I’m talking like a lot of chocolate).

Normally I’m a happy, upbeat, optimistic person. But those few days each month I am short tempered, easily offended, and irritable. (Like the dog avoids me.)

Can you relate?

I’ve been working as a life coach focused on women’s empowerment and mid-life transitions for more than a decade. I’ve seen a few hormonal rollercoasters in my day. (I’m also living one.) In this week’s episode of GrooveTV, I’m going to help you harness the wisdom of your hormonal hissy fits in 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already, and hissy less.

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How To Overcome Overwhelm

By | Get Motivated, Get Your Groove Back | 3 Comments

Life can be difficult. (No one really prepares you for that, do they?) No one tells you that even beautiful things have their downside, or that all happy new life events come with their own brand of stress. No one tells you that if you don’t say no more than you say yes, you’ll eventually find yourself buried under a pile of someone else’s priorities. But that’s all true.

It feels terrible to be underneath the weight of things, doesn’t it? That’s what it feels like to be overwhelmed, I think. It’s like an emotional drowning of sorts, where you find yourself so stunned by the sheer volume of your workload (or the magnitude of your problem) that you’re frozen. And paralyzed, like one of those bad dreams where you try to move, but can’t.

You can.

While you don’t get a pass on dealing with overwhelm, you don’t have to live in it either. Whatever you’re facing, you CAN handle it. But before you do, it’s important to get your bearings. To do that, you need to move through your overwhelm. (Quite literally the only way out is through.)

Overwhelm feels scary, but it’s not nearly as big or bad as we make it out to be. In fact, overwhelm is just an emotion (albeit a sucky one). You will experience it. Guaranteed. It’s part of life, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you’re in it.

Overwhelm is actually FOR you. It’s designed to get your attention. When you feel it, rather than shrinking in fear, meet it like the messenger it’s intended to be. It’s asking you to take a look at the way you’re doing life, and make some adjustments. Read More

How To Figure Out What You Want

By | Figure It Out, Get Your Groove Back | No Comments

Is your life what you want it to be? Does it look anything like what you hoped it would when you were a little girl? If you’re like most women, it probably doesn’t. (Even if it’s pretty good.)

Life has a way of pulling you off course. It’s loud and demanding, and it takes everything you’ll give it. (You’re responsible for so many people and so many things it makes your head spin, doesn’t it?)

Typically, it’s not one big thing that moves you in the wrong direction. It’s usually the culmination of a lot of little things that do. Every time you say yes when you mean no, cross yourself off your own list (to make room for someone else) or shut your mouth when you really need to say something, you step a little further down the path of wrong.

If you do this for long enough, you can get yourself pretty lost. (Like deep-in-the-woods-without-a-compass lost.) If this sounds familiar, don’t worry. You can find your way back – to yourself and that life you used to dream about. You really can. But you have to decide what you want before you take any more steps.

Your wants function like True North on a compass. Once you’ve decided on them, they can help you decide on everything else. In this week’s episode of GrooveTV I’m gonna help you figure out what you want. We’ll do it in about 5 minutes and 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already. Your wants are waiting. (And your life is totally worth the 5 minutes, isn’t it?) Read More

How To Live Your Best Life

By | Get Your Groove Back | No Comments

Are you living your best life? Or are you (like so many women) stumbling through your days like a zombie, moving from one task to the next without a lot of thought or intention? If you haven’t made some basic decisions about the way you’re gonna do life, there’s a good chance you have a lot of zombie days.

It’s so easy to lose yourself on the gauntlet of every day living, isn’t it? You have endless responsibilities. You’re juggling deadlines, errands, meetings, and incoming requests like a champ. You take care of tons people, and keep track of millions of little details. It’s enough to make your head spin.

The thing with head spinning, is that it leads to overwhelm and emotional fatigue. Your trusty friends ignoring, autopilot, and numbing out can start looking like pretty good buddies to hang with. (Whatever it takes to get through the day, right?)

Wrong.

You’re better than that. No more zombie living for you. Let’s put a little life back into that reality of yours, shall we? In this weeks’ episode of GrooveTV I’ll help you overcome 3 common obstacles to living your best life. Press PLAY already. Let’s save the zombie action for your weekend binge watching, okay? Read More

How to make time for what matters.

By | Get Your Groove Back | No Comments

You don’t have time.

How often do you say or think those words? If you’re like most women, you say or think them a lot. Because they’re complete truth.

It’s a good bet you’re command central for your life. At home, you’re chief organizer, calendar-keeper, house manager and caretaker. You handle the big stuff like kids and financial management. You also handle the little details (the ones that keep life functioning) like groceries, errands and meals. There are a million of those little suckers, aren’t there?

Professionally you carry a similar load. If you work in an office, you do your share to support your team. If you have your own business, the whole shebang is on you. (Deep breath. You got this.) Then there’s your community. You’re involved. You support your friends and the organizations, teams, and schools that make up your life. It’s a lot. You’re busy.

Good for you.

This isn’t gonna be one of those blogs where I tell you to stop being busy, or ask you to take a break from doing things to support the people you care about. I want you to keep busily supporting away. You’re a born nurturer. Fighting that instinct, or making yourself wrong for having it, is futile. (You can argue with nature if you feel like it, but she’ll win every time.) Read More

How to feel more confident.

By | Get Motivated, Get Your Groove Back | 3 Comments

I know your secret. (Well, one of them anyway.)

You doubt yourself. Habitually.

In fact, you spend a lot of time and energy wondering if you have what it takes to have what you want in life.

You DO.

You just have to believe it for yourself.

If you’re having a crisis of confidence, I can help. You CAN believe in yourself again (or maybe for the first time). It’s gonna take a little work, but it’s completely do-able. You see, the thing about confidence (and this trips people up) is that you can’t think your way there. You have to act your way into confidence. I’ll show you how in this week’s episode of GrooveTV. Press PLAY already. Your dreams are waiting.

Step 1: Stop comparing yourself to other people.

You MUST stop comparing your real life to everyone else’s social media feed. (You know that no one’s life really looks like what they post, right?) It can be easy to fall for the false notion that everyone else has this life thing figured out, but that’s just not true. Read More

How to find yourself when you feel lost.

By | Get Your Groove Back | No Comments

Who are you as a woman?

How many people have you allowed to answer that question for you?

As a kid you look to your parents for the answer. Unfortunately, a lot of parents are more interested in molding a well-behaved little girl than an authentic young woman. So you learn how to pretend.

From there, your boyfriends (or girlfriends) start shaping you. You take on their interests. You hang out with their friends. And you conform.

If you do this long enough you can lose touch with anything real inside of you. Sound familiar? No beating yourself up here. Everyone does this. (Me too.) But it’s time for you to stop.

There’s another way to approach your life, one that connects you with authenticity. I’ll teach you how it works in this week’s episode of GrooveTV. Let’s figure out who you are without all that pretending and conforming, shall we? Press PLAY already. Your authentic self is ready to come out of hiding. (And she’s gonna rock your world with her awesomeness!) Read More

How to make a change that sticks.

By | Get Your Groove Back | No Comments

By now, it’s possible you’ve broken your new year’s resolution. Or perhaps you’re still on the program, but gutting it out. (While using a great deal of willpower.)

What would you say if I asked you to consider not making any resolutions this year? What if you made real change instead? If I could show you how to make life changes that stick, would you be interested?

I can. ☺

Real change happens when you connect to the big picture of your life, and line your actions up with the outcomes you’re seeking. Change that sticks requires you to upgrade the way you’re doing things. (I know. Yuck. Work for you.) On the bright side, you’re in charge.

Aren’t you tired of saying you’re going to change a thing, and then resisting the changing of that thing? Doesn’t it feel like you’re running around in emotional circles? (You are.) Aren’t you ready to step off this particular treadmill? You can.

You can make any change you’re seeking, but you’re going to need to work for it. I’ll show you how to make a change that sticks in this week’s episode of GrooveTV. We’ll do it in 3 simple steps. Press PLAY already. You’re new life is waiting. Read More

How to figure out forgiveness.

By | Catch Breath, Get Your Groove Back | No Comments

You are powerful. You may not feel that way right now, but I promise it’s true. You can make big stuff happen. You can build a life that thrills you. You can breathe life into your wildest dreams. But first you’re gonna have to clean some stuff up. Dark stuff.

You’re plugged into a giant pile of grievances, resentments, and grudges. You think about your disappointments and frustrations. A lot. You talk about them. All of the time.

It’s just you and me here, let’s be honest. You’re distracted and obsessing about an inventory of toxic emotional baggage, and it’s making you miserable. It’s also draining your life force. Seriously, aren’t you TIRED?

The life of your dreams requires your full power. There’s no spare fuel for emotional baggage. If you want to rise you have to put those bags down.

Then you need unpack them, look at what’s in them and deal with every last item until none of it sucks your time, energy or attention. (You have WAY better things to do.)

Know this. You’re not alone. Everyone has baggage. It’s not possible to get through life without some. Human beings are mightily flawed. We make mistakes. We hurt each other. At some point in life, everyone has to learn how to forgive. Read More